mm yes, so yesterday! school was school-like, nothing big or interesting... i think? i don't quite remember. oh, yes, there was another fire but we didn't get evvacuated. after school i went to rita's house with rita and jamie! they're so freakin' great, oh man, jamie is so fucking funny. rr, yes, we watched sabrina the teenage witch and jamie and i took funny pictures (ooo lala) ... and stuff. and then jamie went home and rita and i watched 7th heaven, and i was cracking up over the fact that simon was wearing silver eyeshadow in, like, the saddest part... holy shit i'm such an insensitive freak ... haha. oh god, though, last night was a hard night for me... it was the thirtieth yesterday, one month anniversiary ... mara. oy vey. i won't even get into that, but rita and dylan know i feel like a horrible person for forgetting. mm... yes, rita and i watched everwood... ephriam is hot hot hott... we got ready in fifteen minutes this morning! and we made it to school on time... rita, i did not turn the alarm off! and i didn't steal your wallet, because, uh, you found it, duh. rita and i bonded really well last night, it was really great, i told her really a lot, i didn't even mean to, i just kept talking and it came out and yeah...
arhh... yes. ok. today now. we woke up, 7 o'clock, her mom drove us to the 7, we got there at, like, 7:50, got on, got off at 8:03, got to school with, like, just enough time to get to class. it was amazing. haha. i... i had a kind of breakdown today, i was freaking out. mr. levin was just making my morning seriously suck. i mean, it's bad enough he announced to the whole fucking class i'm no longer getting an a, but then he had to make a joke about being on antidepressants, i could deal, yeah. but then he's like, "blind devotion ... 'he hits me four times a week but it's ok because i still love him...' " and i totally went beserk. i... oh my god, i dropped my book, and i almost threw my pen at mr. levin, i was so angry. i almost started to cry... ugh, and i was shaking so bad. and then dylan reached over and touched my hand to try to calm me down and i looked at him and he goes, "i love you." oh man, i almost cried there, too. what the fuckkk... i don't even know what to say to that.
after i left english, i kept getting dizzy, so i kinda didn't participate in, like, any class all day. and i fucking hate mr. leurs! I HATE HIM so fucking much, he's like, "blahblah ilana and neil never work..." shut the fuck up asshole.
anyway, after school, i get a call from my mom and... DUH my fucking interview for the movie was today! so i call my mom back and dylan decides to be funny and start, like, making out with me while i'm attempting to talk to my mother on the phone... agh, he started kissing me neck and that makes me absolutely crazy, i don't know how on earth i fucking concentrated on talking to my mother... haha. anyway, i got off the phone with my mom and i called faten and gave the phone to aaron while dylan and i talked about stuff. yeah. we had a conversation about what he said this morning and he was like, "yeah you don't love me. i know by the fact that you won't say it back to me." but then he was like, "you love me, i can see it in your eyes." mmm, ugh i'm so confused with him. he's amazing, but love? we've been together, like, two weeks! ugh... but dylan met my mother, yeah. interesting.
one day, i'm gonna get sick of being a shy piece of shit and i'm gonna kiss felicia. that's all there is to it.
mm yes, so my interview went well... i got a callback for next week!
well, i'm off to go call dylan then take a shower. bye everyone.